nut hugger
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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