i need an iv and a liver transplant
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
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