Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
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I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
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Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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