did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
...so i touched it.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
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Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
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I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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