haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
