forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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