I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Bang-toberfest begins!!
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
