im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i drank out of a bidet.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
