I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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