I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
My feet surprised me
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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