i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
