at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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