..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
