Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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