I'm lost and stupid without you.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
