well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize