Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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