Got a toothbrush?
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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