he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
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He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
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Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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