We got so high we made milksteak
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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