If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
