Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
