these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
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