I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
My bed smells like the plague
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
