Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
