dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Couch. On fire.
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