maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
