either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
