i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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