All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
