saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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