GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
