opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
