i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
