You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
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Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
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she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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