Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize