White coat. Heels.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
