What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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