i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
