I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
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Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
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Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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