What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize