i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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