I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize