I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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