he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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