Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
