He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
