yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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