I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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