I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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