I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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