Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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