I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize