you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
