You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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