soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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