So drunk its hurt
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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