SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
