After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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