I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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