I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
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Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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