to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
