doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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