I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
smell my finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
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